That’s trauma, babe.

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I person is grabbing someone from behind on a dark street. The text reads "Trauma and love don't seem to go well together . . . I'm always waiting for punishment to come get me"
A silver haired feminine person wakes up screaming
Two people cuddle in bed a dark hair person says to the silver person, "It's ok I'm here." Underneath the text reads, "But letting go of fears can be scary too."
There is an image of two people holding hands. The text reads, "I never knew how gentle love should be. Or how petrifying tenderness is."

This is the last of the scanned pen work from several years ago. It’s weird digitally colouring something you drew years ago, it’s a bit like having a conversation with yourself, “Why would you do this?” I had both tablet and laptop problems whilst I tried to finish this and now have a new laptop so I’m hoping there will be more frequent updates. I’m so glad I won’t have to do things the old fashioned way anymore by scanning my line art. Digital drawing all the way babey! PS I used to have nightmares all the time and loads of other sleep problems, but I haven’t for several years due to a course of trauma therapy. Recovery is real!

Sorry I’ve been away for so long! I’m trying to retrain, work part-time and manage 2 chronic illnesses as well as a chronic mental illness. I barely have time or energy to shower let alone draw. I’ve also had some issues with my fancy new graphics tablet but I won’t bore you with that. It’s the UK general election tomorrow and as a disabled person I’m horrified at the prospect of the Torys getting in again. Their benefit cuts, privatized capacity to work assessments have killed hundreds of thousands of disabled people. The fact that several Tory MPs have stated that disabled people deserve to be paid less shows this is a political move targeting vulnerable people. Evidence has now been leaked that they plan to fully sell the NHS as they have been doing gradually for the last decade. Under a privatized health care system I won’t be able to afford insurance or my medication, my immune system will attack me and I will die a painful death. Please, for your future and for the future of everyone in this country, vote Labour. Their policies would improve the lives of so many people and have been all costed in their manifesto. Even if you’re not disabled keep in mind that sickness and old age comes for all of us and that having children in the hospital under a privatized system costs $10,000- $30,000. The fact that a bloody anarchist is so sick of seeing their friends suffer under this system that they’re begging you to vote is proof of how shit the Torys are. You can use this image as you please for once I don’t care about credit, print it out and share as you will. PLEASE VOTE LABOUR TOMORROW FRIENDS.

Never trust a Tory!

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A photograph of a person holding open two red glittery cardboard doors, inside is a saint
A anatomical heart opening out slightly into two doors. Inside you can just see the saint
An anatomical heart with a halo around it
The back of the cardboard heart. On it is written Mark Aguhar's 'Litanies to My Heavenly Brown Body'

A weird queer protection charm I made my friend to go in his wallet when he went travelling. The saint inside is St Aelred who is apparently the patron saint of lgbt people. On the back is written Mark Aguhar’s ‘Litanies to My Heavenly Brown Body’ a deeply powerful piece still remembered and used by the LGBT community today. It reads:

“

BLESSED ARE THE SISSIES
BLESSED ARE THE BOI DYKES
BLESSED ARE THE PEOPLE OF COLOR MY BELOVED KITH AND KIN
BLESSED ARE THE TRANS
BLESSED ARE THE HIGH FEMMES
BLESSED ARE THE SEX WORKERS
BLESSED ARE THE AUTHENTIC
BLESSED ARE THE DIS-IDENTIFIERS
BLESSED ARE THE GENDER ILLUSIONISTS
BLESSED ARE THE NON-NORMATIVE
BLESSED ARE THE GENDERQUEERS
BLESSED ARE THE KINKSTERS
BLESSED ARE THE DISABLED
BLESSED ARE THE HOT FAT GIRLS
BLESSED ARE THE WEIRDO-QUEERS
BLESSED IS THE SPECTRUM
BLESSED IS CONSENT
BLESSED IS RESPECT
BLESSED ARE THE BELOVED WHO I DIDN’T DESCRIBE, I COULDN’T DESCRIBE, WILL LEARN TO DESCRIBE AND RESPECT AND LOVE

AMEN”

That’s the end of the old art/comics queue. From here on out I’m going to have to create new work.

A charm

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A loose drawing of the singer Janelle Monáe with a heart floating around her

This was a doodle I did to try and loosen myself up and I wound up liking it more than my usual style. The only downside to the shift in style is Janelle Monáe doesn’t look as beautiful as she does in real life. I was listening to her album The ArchAndroid all the time, particularly at night as I would have panic attacks a lot then (that’s how old this drawing is). When I became very disabled I stopped listening to music and I’ve never regained my interest.

Janelle Monáe

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A cat in a hat sits on a brick wall under a night sky, playing the banjo, next to a pot of stew.

A present I made for my partner when we first met five years ago this August! I knew early on that I felt more for them than I’ve felt for anyone and it terrified me. I was lucky to meet them when I did and be with them all this time. They’re not a cat but do play the banjo.

5 years!

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Image is person with orange hair in a pink teacup. Text reads, explaining non-binary gender is like riding on a fast tea cup ride. At first it's scary and exciting . . .
Image is a bunch shadowed people riding on a tea cup ride shouting, "She!", "Gender is a social construct- why label yourself?", "Wait, who do you fancy?" at the person with orange hair. The text above reads, then the repetition gets boring.
Image description: A queue of people stand under some lamp posts. They are all shouting, "Genitals!". The text reads, "But whenever you try to leave the people in the queue shout:"

Whew I was dreading uploading this and if I hadn’t spent ages on it I would just let it gather dust in my folder. I hate how this is drawn, I guess my excuse is it was several years ago. I also just noticed a spelling mistake. Hey, I couldn’t write until I was 12 alright?! Someone buy me life drawing lessons please?

Cis people, amIright?

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An image of a bleeding heart dove. The writing says, "you are dovely" in cursive text

I was dating a girl for a while I had intense feelings for but didn’t know how to express them. She decided she wasn’t interested in me romantically before I gave this to her, which is kind of ironic as this is a bleeding heart dove. I was processing a lot of stuff and wasn’t the best to date at that time. I’m happy to report I’ve worked through a lot since then.

I’m in dove

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Two blue hands with pink nails hold a valentine's day card from a nihilist the poem on it reads, "Nature is chaos, money is debt, we're all going to die alone- let's have sex."

This looks like it somehow wound up bad quality. I lost a lot of my skills in the Sick Years ™ where I was doing whatever I could to get into work, becoming progressively disabled in the progress. If I knew more about Photoshop then than I do now, how did I let this wind up so fuzzy?

Nihilism

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